Float Spa….say what?!?!

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So have you guys heard about the new craze called the float spa?!?   Like seriously what the heck is float spa….when I think spa I think pamper me and massages, not a claustrophobic looking pod that some say looks like a toilet. After several friends went and raved about their oh so relaxing experience, I decided to look into it a bit more.   So these float pods (or pools) have like 1000 lbs of epsom salts and about 10 inches of water….wait what 1000 lbs of epsom salts???  Yes that 1000lbs of epsom salts is what makes you float and what is supposed to take you to a level of zen like you have never experienced….hmmmm this sounds a bit strange if you ask me.   Floating in a pool of water, in a pod that is as big as my bathroom (and looks like a toilet) with a lid that closes over me does not sound relaxing……like at all.  Everyone I know that has gone simply says “It is amazing, like nothing I have ever felt before so I cant even describe it”.  I was eager to prove them all crazy, but the thought that maybe just maybe this crazy float thing could help me leave all of my worries behind and help me relieve all of this crazy stress that I carry around daily (thank you corporate america and thank you kiddos) left me feeling like I had to try it.   Let me be honest though, I was terrified!   I am uber claustrophobic….like just thinking about that thing closing over me gives me a panic attack.

So fast forward about 6 months (yes it took me that long to get my nerves up) another friend posted about their amazing experience at Presence Float Center in Town and Country, MO.   It was time…..I pulled up their website this morning at around 8am and saw the only appointment time available as at 9am so I took it.   Preparing for my “zen” journey I read and re-read their website to prepare myself….pod…salt water…arrive 15 min early….shower before…pod…pod….pod…..ahhhh there was no turning back.   I arrived 15 min early and was greeted by the owner  who was super cool and so welcoming!   Seriously this guy was “zen”, so relaxed, so happy and I was thinking hmmmm did he just float?    The Float center itself was very clean and tranquil.  High loft like ceilings, a big comfy couch, some cool chairs and just a warm welcoming feeling.  He had me take off my shoes, fill out some forms, and he then walked myself and another gentlemen back to one of the rooms to walk us through float room.   When I walked in I saw the pod and immediately thought holy crap, it IS as small as it looked online and I don’t know if I can do this (insert slight a slight panic attack).  In the room there was the pod, a rain-shower with shampoo, body wash and conditioner, some ear plugs, makeup remover cloths and some towels (all the amenities you need so your really have to bring nothing which was nice).   The owner walked us through how to turn the light on and off in the pod, how to turn music on and off, explained that you must shower and wash hair (no conditioner) before you get in the pod and then he explained the “process”.   Basically when its all said and done it sounds like you will be on some amazing high (at this point I am thinking if the water isn’t drugged, I am pretty sure this girl wont be on a high lol) ….. once in the pod you turn off the light and close the pod and then you just float.   He says it will take your body some time to just let go of all the thoughts and you will teeter in and out between almost unconscious sleep and consciousness and experiencing twitching is normal.  He is positive that you will experience complete sensory deprivation and he promises in the end you will be relaxed and have a feeling like no other.   It was also highly recommended staying a few minutes afterwards to regroup and have a cup of tea on the big comfy couch but I was already thinking no way I am out of here in 60 minutes as this guy is crazy (sorry Chris).    I was pretty sure I was going to prove him wrong as there is no way this will relax me more than a massage.  So I shower, I wash my hair, I put in my ear plugs and I get in the pod….the water is the perfect temperature….very warm but not too hot.  I am feeling brave so I turn off the light and close the lid.  I keep telling myself you “can do this, its pitch black in here so you cant even see the lid” but then it started to get steamy and then I started to panic and not be able to breathe so at about 2 min in (yes I only last 2 minutes with the lid down but hey at least I tired it) I had to open the lid (which he said was perfectly ok to do).  I then calmed myself and laid back again and could not shut my brain off.  My brain ALWAYS goes a mile a minute and I was thinking about everything from the kids schedule, what I need to get done at work this week, our vacation, cleaning the house, and the one recurring thought that kept running through my head was there is no way this was going to freaking work.  I admit I was 150% a skeptic.  I would guess at about 30 min in I found my mind starting to wander to just strange relaxing thoughts like I was floating in the sky amongst millions of stars….it was WEIRD but amazing at the same time and my conscious brain was having a hard time letting my mind wander (thinking back now I am pretty sure this is because I was so adamant it was not going to work that I had my brain believing it too).   As soon as my conscious self realized I was giving in to the relaxation it would snap me back to reality and I would continue to go in and out of this zone for the last 30 minutes.   About the last 5 minutes I was really in a zone, I felt like I was floating in space and I did not want it to end.  I just wanted to lay there and soak in the nothingness of what was happening….for the first time in forever I was experiencing the epitome of relaxation and then the lights went on.   That was the fastest 60 minutes of my life and I was not ready for it to be over.  Just when my conscious brain finally gave in and allowed me to feel this zen like relaxation it was over, but the crazy part is it was just beginning!   I slowly stood up and my body was SO relaxed I felt like i was still floating and I had this weird freaking smile on my face and I just felt happy.   For a split second I thought “wait was I just drugged?” but then I quickly moved past it and let it all soak in and accepted the fact that IT FREAKING WORKED!   I had reached total Zen and it was amazing! I showered and dressed and then immediately walked out and sank into the couch, you know the one that I was so sure that I was going to pass on, and the owner brought me a cup of tea.   We talked about my experience and one by one the other 4 floaters came out of their rooms and joined us and we all shared our experience.  We were all first time floaters and we had all hit total Zen.   It was funny listening to everyone talk as we all went in not knowing what to expect and all a bit skeptical and we were all now believers.   I was happy.  I was rested. I was worry free.  I was smiling and all I really wanted to do was melt into the couch (like seriously this was the best couch ever).   We all sat for about 15 min and Chris, the owner, was telling us stories about others and his favorite are those who come in who are complete control freaks, very strong willed with strong personalities as they are the biggest skeptics and EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. it works.  As this explains my husband to a T, I made an appointment for him tomorrow evening as he desperately needs to destress and let his mind just be free, if even for an hour.  As I drove home I was still on this major relaxation high and felt like I just joined a tribe or a cult of some sort but it was an awesome happy feeling.   As I was explaining the experience to my husband he of course poked fun at me and thought it was funny that I couldn’t stop smiling so I cannot wait to hear how my skeptic hubby feels after his float tomorrow.

If you have been curious about this crazy float thing….DO IT!   Don’t wait any longer.  Call tomorrow and make and appointment and then thank me when its over.  If you are in the St. Louis Area I Highly recommend Presence Float Spa in Town and Country and Please tell them Beth Lynch referred you.   I am already looking at my calendar to see when I can get my next float in…..I CANNOT WAIT!   He said the second time is even better (if that is possible) as you body and your mind now know what to expect so you will get to the feeling of utter relaxation sooner.

 

Thank You Presence Float Center, until next time……..

 

Updated to add:  OMG I had the BEST sleep ever I seriously don’t think I moved and inch which is highly unusual for me!  Combining my essential oils in my diffuser (I use Young Living only….Lavender and Valor for sleep) along with my float experience had me sleeping like a baby!   I started using essential oils over 3 years ago and they have been life changing for myself and my family but I am going to take my whole body wellness now to an even higher level and start incorporating monthly floats too!  I still feel amazing and relaxed today (over 24 hours later).   If you want more information on how to incorporate essential oils into your daily routine please let me know as I would be happy to share my experience!

B. Lynch

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15 years and 1 day ago…The day I will never forget

15 years and 1 day ago is a day I will never forget.  It was a beautiful  September morning, September 11, 2001 to be exact, and I had just returned from Arizona where I was visiting one of my dearest friend,  Andrea.   At the time I was working for Bridge Information Systems in St. Louis as a Technical Account Manager covering large financial customers in New York.   For 2 years I traveled every other week, Sunday through Friday, to our New York Office to visit my customers in the World Trade Center and other various locations throughout the City…..for two years it was my second home.    Over those 2 years, many customers became friends.  We would do lunch, talk about our families, laugh, tell stories and talk about our dreams.   One customer in particular, Ed Martinez from Cantor Fitzgerald, always called me his second daughter.   He had a beautiful family that he was SO proud of and would always share pictures of them with me.  His daughter  you could tell was the light of his life and he was beaming with pride as he talked about her starting college soon.   Ed and I talked multiple times every week not only about his business that I was responsible for supporting, but just about life in general.   I can still hear his voice replay in my head from our many conversations but for some reason I have a constant replay on his last vm from a few days prior “Hi Beth, this is Ed, can you call me when you get a chance?”.   A vm I listened too as I got in the office that morning after returning from vacation, a voicemail so simple, yet I can hear it clear as day in my head 15 years later.   This week happened to be my off week from traveling to NY.  We had 2 teams of TAM’s who traveled opposite weeks and shared corporate apartments in Jersey City overlooking the twin towers.   It was truly our second home.

That morning started off just like any other.  This week happened to be my off week from traveling to NY.  We had 2 teams of TAM’s who traveled opposite weeks and shared corporate apartments in Jersey City overlooking the twin towers.   It was truly our second home. I was in the St. Louis office on the morning of 9/11, talking with my co-workers and catching up on emails and voice mails that I missed while I was out on vacation.    I remembering listening to Ed’s voicemail and adding it to my To Do list for the morning to give him a call and it was shortly after that the craziness started to set in.   We started getting traps on all of the devices our company had in the twin towers telling us they were all going down.   The phone calls started coming in from customers, who were also unaware at the time of what was happening wondering why they had lost connection.   It was all hands on deck at work fielding the calls….all of us oblivious in St. Louis to what was happening that dreadful day in NY.  Shortly after the chaos started there was a call from one of the TAMs that was in NY that week saying a plane had just hit the twin towers.   I remember saying “yeah right, happy late April Fools Day”.  We turned on the TV’s in the office and a silence took over, there was shock, there were tears and then we watched on live TV the second plane hit.  We saw on live TV, people hanging out of the windows at the top of the world trade center, clinging to life, praying for a rescue that would never come.  We watched people jump 100 floors to their death on live TV, an image you can’t ever get out of your head.  We watched the news of the other hijacked planes hitting the Pentagon and one crashing in a field in Pennsylvania.  I think my body went numb and I went into panic mode.  I started getting calls and messages from friends and family back in Florida who were unsure if this was my week in NY or not, scared to death and making sure I was ok.   There was a sigh of relief in their voice when they reached me and knew I was ok….a sigh of relief that thousands of families would not get to experience that day.    I immediately started calling Ed over and over, hoping and praying he would pick up, he didn’t.   I remember telling myself its ok, he is probably just making his way out of the towers, he was on floor 101/102 so he had a long way to go down the stairs, he will be fine.   I kept calling and I kept getting voicemail.

Then on live TV, it happened, the first tower came crashing down.   I remember the hearing the gasps in my office, the shock, the tears and the fear of the realization that our country was under attack.

I left several messages that day for Ed asking if he was ok, telling him to call me as soon as he got my message…..messages that were never returned.   I left work that day in complete shock, numb with fear.   I continued to watch coverage of the tragedy unfold on TV for days on end, holding on to a tiny glimmer of hope that I would see him on TV and that he would be ok or hear news that he was rescued in the recovery effort, but that news never came.   I would call the hotline that was setup to check on friends and family that were in the towers at the time and was told they had no information on Ed but I wasn’t giving up hope.   I thought and prayed often for his family that day and the weeks to come. I would fall asleep every night with the news on about the recovery efforts, the candle light vigils going on, the images and posters of the missing and the families crying out in agony and fear that their loved ones may not be coming home but they were still clinging on to that little glimmer of hope that their loved on may be found that day. Every night for the first few days I would wake in a dream thinking that I saw Ed on TV, alive and well.  The dreams were so real that I would jump up and glue my eyes to the TV to see that image I saw in my dream but it wasn’t there.   I cried for days knowing that my worst fears were becoming a reality that I did not want to accept, they were gone.

Over the next few days in the office we were in crisis mode.  Trying to account for all of our staff in NY and thankfully they all made it out ok.   We talked to our TAM’s that were in the corporate apartments that overlooked the twin towers and their stories of being on the balcony, watching it all unfold and seeing that second plane hit the twin towers right across the water from them.  We heard the story from Jason, one of our TAM’s, that was waiting for an elevator in the bottom of one of the towers on his way up to see his client when one of the plane’s hit and his detail of the chaos that ensued thereafter of how he was able to escape the towers thankful for his life.   We heard stories from other employees there that day, about the city of NY coming together as a community, as a family, bringing strangers into their homes and into their offices to bring them to what was hopefully a safe place.  Stories about the thousands and thousands of people running out of the streets of NY trying to get home to their families, with no car, no subway’s, covered in ash and tears walking tirelessly to reach their loved ones.   Stories of strangers pulling up in their boats on the Hudson and taking people to safety on the other side.  Stories from my boss at the time who was waiting on a plane on the runway in Newark about to take off on his trip to St. Louis when the plane hit the towers and all flights came to a halt. Stories of co-workers, helping the injured and the mind numbing details of the gruesome injuries and the lost lives they saw that day.

As the airports were shutdown (and honestly I am pretty sure they wouldn’t have gotten on a plane even if they weren’t) our team of TAMs were finally able to rent a car and make their way back to St. Louis.   Listening to their stories of what happened on that dreadful day, their personal experiences of being there when our country was under attack was surreal.   They had haunting images they had taken from the balcony of the corporate apartment of the disaster that unfolded before their eyes…..Haunting, scary, surreal images.

Over the next few weeks I was left accepting the reality that my clients/friends were not going to make it home to their families.   I was frightened with the thought of soon having to take a plane back to NY to try and resume some sense of normalcy with the clients I still had left.  That trip came almost 3 weeks later and I was scared to death.  I planned my trip that week to attend the memorial services in Central Park for the over 600 lives lost at Cantor Fitzgerald that day.  I am not going to lie, I was scared for my safety yes, but also scared of what I was about to see  and experience.  This beautiful city that I had been living in part-time for 2 years had been changed forever.  Almost 3 weeks later ground zero was still smoking, ash still covered cars and streets,  images of the missing still posted everywhere, and papers that were once on the desks of employees in the twin towers were still scattered over the streets.  The iconic American flag in the rubble was standing and again I was brought to tears.  This was real.  I stood for a long time looking at what used to be the place I got off of the PATH train every morning to head into the office, the place I used to ride the elevator up to floor 101 to visit my friends at Cantor where I had been less than 2 weeks prior to 9/11, the place I had lunch with friends and clients was gone.  Our view of the twin towers from the corporate apartment that we took for granted was now that of ash and smoke.  Another reality check….this was real and our lives would be forever changed.

October 1st, 2001 was a somber day.   Almost 3 weeks after the attack on our country, and my first trip back to NYC, I was making my way to Central Park to attend the memorial services for my friends at Cantor.   Try to imagine for a second thousands of friends and families members gathered together to celebrate their lives and to say goodbye one last time.  Try to imagine the walls of images of all of the Cantor employees lost and their family members stricken with grief on their knees and unable to talk, just cry.   I walked through the boards of images and my eyes almost immediately landed on a picture of Ed.   Crazy, happy  Ed with a funny hat on smiling and full of life.   I stopped, I cried, and I put my hand on that picture to say goodbye.  I listened to the services almost numb watching all of these family members stricken with grief and these sweet kiddos who no longer have a mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, grandma or grandpa, some so small that they still do not understand or grasp the concept of what happened.   My heart was broken for them.   The grief I was experiencing was NOTHING compared to what these families were going through now and would continue to go through for the rest of their lives.

After that trip my role changed bit at work, my company was purchased by Reuters and I soon moved on to a TAM position at Savvis Communications.  I still covered accounts in NY but it would never be the same .   Soon I moved on to new roles and my visits to NYC came to an end in 2004.

Over the years I made a few personal trips back to NYC for fun and I think it was around 2008 that we made it to the 9/11 museum (not the big one they have now but the smaller original one across the street) and all of those memories came rushing back.  That day.  The fear. The shock. The tears.   The images.I remembered every detail like it was yesterday.   Visiting the museum was hard, really hard.   They  had the images of the missing loved ones up inside and pieces of the fallen towers.  I cried, I prayed and we quietly made our way through paying our respects to all of the lives lost that day.

In March 2015, I made another personal trip to NY.   This time the memorial had been completed and I again made that trip to the place I once visited often.  The place where the twin towers once stood.  The place where I shared many laughs with friends.  The place where I once visited the 101st floor every other week.  When we walked up to the memorial I again was hit with a rush of emotions.  It was beautiful.  It was sad.  The massiveness of this memorial was surreal…..the reality of how many lives were lost that day hit me….it had to be that massive to fit all of their names.   I walked up not really sure how to locate the names of the person you were looking for as there was over 2000.  I stood there taking it all in, watching people leave flowers, watching people cry, and holding back my own tears.   It was a rainy day cold day and I made my way up to one of the edges to look in at the water and scan the names and to my surprise I happened to walk up by luck to the exact spot Ed’s name was located.  What were the chances of that?  I wasn’t ready to see it yet but there it was right in front of me with rain drops covering the surface.  I took a deep breath, I touched his name and tried to fight the tears.   I said a prayer for him and his family and again said goodbye.

So after 15 years this is the first time I have shared ALL of my memories and the details of how this day has affected me with anyone.     It was time to put my memories down so I will never forget.   Every year I still quietly cry on 9/11 and all of those memories come rushing back.  Yesterday was hard.  Today it was time to get it all out.   I will never forget.  Hug your friends and family and tell them you love them every.single.day.   Live life to the fullest and don’t take one second with your loved ones for granted.

RIP my sweet friend and to all the beautiful souls lost that day.14316721_938261262966134_677582465750883363_n

Who ever said being a Mom was easy?!?

For 9 LONG months you fall in love, waiting anxiously to meet the new love of your life. What color hair will they have, what color eyes, how much will they weigh, will they have dimples….and for some will it be a boy or girl? Every little kick or movement falling more and more in love with the baby you had prayed long and hard for.

For me it was almost the same exact experience both times almost 5 years apart…..for 9 LONG months I was scared to death wondering if I was good enough, wondering if I could give this sweet baby everything they deserved and more, wondering if I could be a good role model and raise my kiddos to be kind hearted, respectful, smart and loving kids amongst so much hate and turmoil in our world. How do I shield and protect them from the reality that exists outside of our front door, or should I shield them? Then the time comes. For me it was 4 weeks early (yes for both of my girls I was exactly 4 weeks early and had eerily similar labor stories) and I was terrified! Not only did all of the same fears exist but now I am also scared hoping and praying she would be ok, praying that she would come out screaming and kicking, praying that she would be healthy….and they were both all of these and more! My beautiful sweet little girls were everything I could have dreamed of, my heart is full….life is perfect….well almost. My first was born with full head of dark brown hair, blue eyes, the most amazing dimples ever and lashes for days, like seriously the longest ever! My second also had super dark brown hair, gorgeous dark brown eyes, and these amazing little dimples under her eyes….I swear this kid can light up a room with her smile…..she is the definition of eye smiles. These amazing little humans are my everything, my girls!

Their birth stories though is where all of their similarities end, as I swear these 2 kiddos are so crazy opposite that most don’t even believe they are related. My oldest has grown up to be an amazing yet complicated little girl. She has dirty blond hair and gorgeous blue almond shaped eyes, her dimples oh my gosh her dimples are to die for and yes still the longest eyelashes ever. She is my people pleaser, she wants everyone to love her but only keeps a few CLOSE friends, she loves to make people happy, she is extremely sensitive, she is a daydreamer, she has an imagination like no other, she is extremely creative, she loves to be recognized for hard work, she loves dates with her mommy…..she is simply a beautiful little girl both inside and out who doesn’t know it. She though is the one I worry about constantly….like every.single.day! I worry about her courage and strength to stand up for herself, I worry about her little heart that wants everyone to love her and how will she handle it if someone doesn’t, I worry about the “mean” kids at school, I worry about her always holding everything in until she breaks down in tears, I worry about her inclination to completely shut down if she isn’t the best at something or doesn’t know how to do something. She is the reason I am a “claws out” type of mom, as I want to protect her from all of this….I want her to always feel safe and loved, I want her to know its ok to make mistakes and learn from them, I want her to know the world isn’t going to end because someone didn’t want to play with her today, I want her to know that she can talk to me about anything and I will always be here to love her and show her the way. She is my complicated little girl, the one who made me a mom for the first time, the one who doesn’t realize how amazing she really is. I find myself constantly thinking about the future with her and how will she handle these things once in middle school, as that is only 2 years away.

Then there is my wild and crazy younger one, I swear they cannot be more opposite. She has dark brown hair, DARK brown eyes, still has her amazing eye dimples when she smiles and has the most contagious laugh. She is my free spirit who lights up a room with her funny antics and her crazy off the wall things she comes up with….she is the one that I swear would give everyone the middle finger if she knew what it meant. I always say she will be on the stage one day….let’s just hope it is a good stage. This little girl LOVES to sing and dance….nonstop 24 hours (ok maybe 23) a day. She makes up her own words to songs and her dance moves are hilariously awesome. She LOVES to be snuggled, loves to gives kisses, loves to be held and loves to be recognized. She is not one to really care what others think, if someone wants to be her friend great, if not it’s their loss. She is not overly sensitive, she is extremely strong willed and does what she wants when she wants and is definitely a leader in the crowd. This little lady seriously keeps us on our toes and keeps us laughing daily. This little lady also has extreme anger outbursts, hitting, kicking, and yelling when she doesn’t get her way. She shuts down if she doesn’t know how to do something or finds it boring. I worry for her that she will fall behind in school because she can’t sit still and she can’t focus. I worry that she won’t have a lot of friends because she can be so out of control and mean at times and it makes me sad to think of how that will affect her. She is an amazing little girl with so much to offer and I pray that she never loses her spunk while we work through her behavior and focus issues.

Daily I find myself wondering if I have I caused some of these things in my kiddos by snapping at them too much for not doing something after being asked 100 times, or by not giving them enough attention when they needed it most, or by being on my phone or working too much when they really needed me to be present. I admit, I am not a perfect mom by any means, but I try my hardest to make sure my girls always know how much I love them and that I will always be here for them. I am a yeller and I hate it….. there have been moments when I have snapped at both of them for something and I can instantly see how it affects them, more so my oldest as she gets a look of shock on her face, a bit of sadness and sometimes tears. I always instantly wrap her up in my arms and apologize profusely but it’s too late by that point and it hurts my heart to know that my actions had that effect on her……more of a reason that makes me sad to think that I could be the reason for all of their insecurities. I see so many of my friends that seem to have it all together….they appear to be perfect moms, perfect wives, perfect employees and just have happy homes. Don’t get me wrong we do have a ton of fun and we love each other dearly, but I want to be better, they deserve better. My life is crazy, my days are stressful, and parenting is HARD. Being a full time working mom is not an easy task but I am also one who loves to be busy and I always have my hands in so many different things. Not only do I work full-time outside of the house (approx. 50 hours a week) but I also have an essential oils business that just makes my heart happy and has brought us a wealth of good health without harmful chemicals and medications, starting this blog is a new thing I trying to keep up with as a way to get my thoughts out and on top of all of that I love to do DIY projects around the house….all of this while trying to be the best mom and wife that I can. Some may say I am freaking crazy, or ask why I don’t cut back, or why I take on so much and the answer is simply this is how I am wired. My full time day job isn’t rewarding or fulfilling enough and I always feel like I missed my calling in life to help others. I regret every day not going to nursing school and being able to leave each day knowing I made a difference, which is why I think I get myself involved and doing so much as it fills me with that need I have of feeling like I have done something amazing……that feeling of accomplishment. I love to be busy, I love to feel needed, I love the feeling of accomplishment I get when I finish an awesome DIY project, or the emails I get when I help someone with oils for recurring back pains they have had for years from an accident….and most of all I love being a mom. I just need to be better at balancing all of these things without my kiddos feeling like they are second as they are my heart and my soul. I am extremely grateful and feel so blessed that god entrusted me with these amazing little humans and I continue to pray daily and ask for guidance and support in being the best mom I can be for my girls.

Being a mom changes your heart. You can no longer can hear a story about a child who was harmed or a child who is suffering and think “oh that is sad” and move on with your day…..or at least I can’t. Each and every story I read or hear speaks to my heart; it engulfs me and usually brings me to tears. I have this weird thing where when I read of such stories my brain instantly flips and puts me in their shoes and I start wondering and imagining what they are going through and how they are feeling. I recently read a story about a friend on FB who sponsors a child in Kenya and just went on a mission trip to Kenya to meet this child and help this amazing village of forever grateful people. This spoke to my heart so much that I am starting to research doing something similar and looking at our budget to see if I can sponsor a child in need. Things change when you are a mom….trust me on this. 10 years ago I would have read that story and though oh that’s cool that she is doing that and moved on but that all changed 9 years ago. I know I can’t help them all and I struggle with taking yet another thing on when my own kiddos need me too but I want to show them how to be compassionate and caring, I want to show them that it isn’t always about us and that when they don’t get the 500th stuffed animal from the store that they wanted that they are still so blessed and instead why don’t we buy that stuffed animal for a child that has nothing? I want to teach them and show them how to be the best versions of themselves they can be…..be giving, be loving, be humble, be kind, be amazing, be smart, be awesome! So back to my original question…who said parenting was easy?!?

Have a Blessed Day!

xoxo

Me, Myself, & I

WOW, am I really starting a blog?!?   This is something I have been thinking about for years and well, just now getting around to actually doing it (story of my life lol).   I am not sure if it my busy schedule, my procrastination, or my fear that no one would really care to read my blog that has prevented me from doing it, but what better time then now right???  I have moments constantly where I sit and think “Um hello, that would have been perfect for your blog” so I am ready to jump all in.   My life isn’t super exciting so this is really just a way for me to lay it all out on the table….the good, the bad, the hilarious, and the ugly.   I am typically not one to hold back so sit back and enjoy the craziness of my so called life.

I am a mother of 2 crazy, beautiful, fun-loving little girls who keep me on my toes at all times.   My husband and I have been married for 12 years and although we drive each other absolutely crazy we love each other dearly.    My family is the reason I keep going, the reason I push my self to be better, the reason I work harder, and the reason I hustle my heart out each and every day.   We aren’t perfect by any means, but we are us and we stick together through thick and thin.

So what is this blog about??  I don’t know…..life?  The ups and downs, the funny moments, the holy sh*t did that really just happen moments, the I love you more than life moments,  the I hate everyone moments, the laughing until you cry moments…….my moments.   I cant promise that it will always be entertaining but it will always come from my heart and will be real and sometimes raw.